Tuesday, August 14, 2012

How To Tame Your Toddler's Controlling Behavior

Small children are by nature very self centred. They have not acquired the sense of self awareness that the majority of adults naturally possess manifesting in tantrums, selfish conduct and bossiness.

Bossiness is a common 3 year old behavior problem and it can often lead to some somewhat awkward and unpleasant situations for their parents.

Youngsters can also get a sense of superiority and authority from acting this way in a world in which adults dominate. They won't always be aware that they are displaying this behavior, but when they are being bossy and excerting their power and authority over people they subconsciously taking back some of that control. On the up-side, there are a few things that you can try which may be able to reign your childs bossiness in a bit.

Tips For Bringing Your Toddlers Bossy Behavior Under Control


Kids have a very "monkey see, monkey do" approach to life, so the very first thing you can try to change their behavior is to modify yours first. This might mean winding your own bossiness back a bit. So when you are in the presence of your children, try using the type of behavior that you would want them to emulate. Even when you aren't talking with them, they will still pick up on the manner in which you act and ask folks to do something.

Even when it is in YOUR nature to be like this, try to be aware of it and when your kids are around try reworking your own conduct so your children see a more polite side of you.

Social Skills

Another simple concept, but one that is often tough to execute is to teach them good social skills. Teach them to share from a young age. Make them ask people things in a considerate way and when they deviate from this, ask them how THEY would feel if someone spoke like that to them.

Give Control

Bossiness is a manner of control, so when you child is feeling like they have none they will attempt and take it. But imagine you GAVE them some control? By asking your child if they want potatoes or carrots with their fish cakes, or if they want to watch some cartoons or play with their barbie dolls for some time you are placing some authority back in their hands.

The secret to this is not to ask open ended questions, so instead of "what do you want to do today?", you ask "would you like to go to the park today or watch some cartoons?". This gives them a feeling of control and they will believe that they have had a say in how their day went and THIS will result in not so much of of a need to take control from people by way of bossy behavior in the future.


Fairly often, a child's bossy or bad behavior is nothing but a plea for your attention, so take a genuine look at how much you give them every day. Take a hard honest look at whether or not you are putting in enough time playing and talking with them before you yell at them for yanking at your sleeve to go play in the yard when all you want to do is stand sipping beer with your buddies.

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